There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.

But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Army had half a day. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Whoa, this guy’s straight?

No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. I’m half machine. I’m a monster. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.

I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.

Across from where? Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Marry me. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish.

  1. No… but I’d like to be asked!
  2. Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!
  3. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right.

Not tricks, Michael, illusions.

There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. I’ve opened a door here that I regret. Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! Well, what do you expect, mother? Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right.

  • Really? Did nothing cancel?
  • There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor.
  • We just call it a sausage.

Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. I care deeply for nature.

Guy’s a pro. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. No… but I’d like to be asked! As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Really? Did nothing cancel? I hear the jury’s still out on science. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Marry me. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast.

Well, what do you expect, mother? That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life.

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians.

Across from where? No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. I hear the jury’s still out on science. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. We just call it a sausage.

There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. I’m afraid I just blue myself. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore? Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right.

Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Marry me. Well, what do you expect, mother? No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you.

Whoa, this guy’s straight? He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. I’m afraid I just blue myself. I’ve opened a door here that I regret.

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Author Bios

Write Me Something Beautiful Authors - Casey and Jimmy Gauntt

Casey Gauntt

is an attorney and senior executive of a major San Diego real estate company. He lives in Solana Beach, California, with his wife, Hilary. Casey grew up in Itasca, Illinois, graduated Lake Park High School in 1968, and received B.S., JD and MBA degrees from the University of Southern California.

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Jimmy Gauntt

was born and raised in Solana Beach and graduated from Torrey Pines High School in 2002.   A prestigious Trustee Scholar at the University of Southern California, he majored in English and Spanish. He authored six plays, five screenplays, and a multitude of poems and short stories. Beginning in 2010, the USC English Department annually bestows the Jimmy Gauntt Memorial Award—aka “The Jimmy”—to the top graduates in English.  Jimmy passed over to the other side in 2008 at age 24.

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